Some jobs require you to wake up at 4am to get to the building site. Others need you to be in surgery saving lives, or answering phones or on call 24/7. This morning, my job required me to eat four sandwiches before 12pm.
I was raised in New Zealand, and moved to the UK last year. Since I’ve been on this side of the world, I’ve tried a huge number of different snacks, drinks, meals and sweets and today, it was time to attempt some classic British sandwiches. I crowdsourced some nostalgic favourites from my coworkers and picked a few to try. These were: fish fingers, crisps, banana and honey and, my cheat sandwich, jam.
In my opinion, jam is cheating because I have actually had a jam sandwich before, but not since I was about 5, so it was worth a go. I also want to address the obvious elephant in the room – my sandwiches were made of single slices of bread folded over.
Many purists won’t consider this a sandwich – but I had a lot of sandwiches to get through, limited time to eat them, and I didn’t want to waste food.
Plus, that’s still four slices of bread, give me a break.
Fish fingers and tomato sauce
This was first up on the menu, and I graciously offered to make my boyfriend and best friend one as well, as I had a box of ten fish fingers that I was unlikely to eat again after this experiment. This is because I do not like fish at the best of times, and fish fingers give me the ick.
Once the smell of fish was drifting through my flat, I buttered all the bread, layered my fish and slapped some tomato sauce on top. Simple enough.
Although the actual taste of this sandwich was yum, the texture was less so. Even though I made sure I had baked my fish for long enough so it was crispy and golden, it was overwhelmed by the soft bread and the delicate white fish inside. The result was a beige, claggy mess that dripped grease through to my fingers and left me feeling a bit ill.
Even though this sandwich was yum, it made me feel so gross I can only give it a 4/10.
Salt and vinegar crisp sandwich
I have occasionally put crisps inside a sandwich containing other things – albeit rarely – but I have never had a sandwich that was just crisp.
I had asked my coworkers what the protocol was with this one, as I wasn’t sure if I should butter, or what kind of crisp would go best. I was told it was entirely up to me, so I chose to butter and add my favourite kind of crisp – McCoys Salt and Vinegar.
The reason I love these crisps is because the salt and vinegar is so strong it makes my tongue sting and my eyes hurt. However, once they were inside the sandwich all that powerful flavour was totally neutralised into just bread and butter with a bit of a crunch.
This sandwich was also insanely greasy and the softness of the bread with the tang of the vinegar made me feel a lot like I was eating an old dish sponge that had sat in the bottom of the sink for weeks.
As much as I wanted to like this one, I can only give it a 3/10.
Banana and honey
Now this is a sandwich. Yes, the texture is questionable but there’s no grease and the flavours all work together in a glorious harmony. The creamy banana with the touch of sweetness from the honey and the salt from the butter was absolutely delicious.
I think this is a true classic of the genre – and I am not usually much of a sweet person. If I were to do this again, I’d add some peanut butter and maybe even go nuts and toast it. This was my favourite of the lot and I’d give it an 8/10.
Jam sandwich
Another classic of the genre, what’s not to like? Sweet, indulgent and just tart enough thanks to the raspberry jam (my favourite). This sandwich took me right back to after school care as a child, lining up to eat afternoon tea before going to play on the school field.
Like I said, I’ve had one before so I know this doesn’t really count but it was a nice trip down memory lane regardless – and a nice way to finish what was a rather trying taste test on the whole. 9/10
